Youth Ice Hockey: “I just want to play a game dad.”

Youth Ice Hockey: “I just want to play a game dad.”

My son was recovering from a concussion and to our good fortune, it gave us an opportunity to talk about his game. He got it with about 6 minutes left in the third period. His team was up 5-2. They got the big win by the way. A player came up to check him as my son was coming up the boards. It appeared they were both doing fine. Alec was against the boards moving up the ice and the other player was angling to his shoulder. Right as he came up to my son’s shoulder, he raised his arm and plowed my son’s head into the boards. Alec sat the rest of the game. The boy got 2 minutes for elbowing or roughing and was back on the ice to finish the game while my boy sat out. One of those hockey things we all accept as business as usual. What can you do? Boys will be boys. The kid who breaks the rule is fine and out playing a few minutes later. The kid that gets a concussion is out 2 weeks minimum. I’m sure the 2 minute penalty will stop the boy from doing that again. Ah well. While my son was recovering all he could say was, “I can’t wait to play again.”


I witnessed the penalty and it wasn’t ferocious. It wasn’t much of anything. It didn’t influence the game. Like I said I whipped them 5-2. He whipped them that is. It didn’t check my boy off the puck. The player coming to check him didn’t even make a play for the puck. He just ran his forearm into my son’s head. I suppose it was his opportunity to work on checking and master a skill he could use to hurt someone later. On a fair check of course. Where else is he going to learn but in a game. The current hockey rules and penalties worked for that boy. He got to mess up checking my son, he injured my son and got his 2 minutes in the penalty box. He got to work on his timing and Alec set himself up right. He was against the boards so he wouldn’t be thrown into them. They both learned two important key concepts in youth ice hockey. If they didn’t have that time together, they would be missing out on their youth ice hockey experience. And they would not have had a chance to learn. While recovering my son said, “I have this new move I want to try out on the ice.”

We got to teach Alec how a brain heals and why hockey rules are really based on the discretion of the referee and not really on the written rule. He asked me a lot of questions like, “if I get hit in the head shouldn’t that be considered wrong.” I let him know that checking is essential to hockey and if you penalize the players too much, they won’t try it. He told me he thought it was mostly fair because that player was the same size as him. I yelled at him a told him size is not the issue. If a large boy comes at you, he should be able to use his early growth spurt to full advantage and take you out of the game. I told him not to make excuses on the ice. He apologized for not understanding the importance of checking. He thought about it and said, “maybe it was my fault for not protecting myself.” I laughed and told him he is doing great.

As the week went by Alec was able to better concentrate and went to support his team and watched them play. Alec sat in the back of the bench with his helmet on. The whole ride there he kept saying, “I can’t wait to get back on the ice.” I told him head injuries and concussions are part of the game and that he was healing like a NHLer. He smiled and said, “I just rather play the game and have fun. Maybe score a goal. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to play a game dad.” I looked at him and said, “this isn’t a game, it’s about winning and losing.” He looked at me and said again, “I just want to play a game dad.” I got that deep down sickening feeling in my stomach like when you know something is wrong. I thought to myself that my boy just doesn't have what it takes to make it in the YHL, youth hockey league. I guess I can come to terms with that.


Sarcasm we live everyday in youth ice hockey. It is time to change hockey culture so my son can just play a game.

*Several emails asking if this was a true story. It is not a true story. It is a story that I hope makes a point about the current culture of youth ice hockey.